All You Need is Love

Here I am again with another yarn from my journey over seas. To start off, I shall tell you all about.....wait for it.....the Thai Wedding! Our coordinator Tang has been planning her wedding while we have been here. Her husband to be...Ake. What a guy :) It seemed so far away when we arrived, but out of nowhere it came! And this is how it went:

Event number 1: wake up at 4:30 AM. It's already sounding fun, right?

Event number 2: Thai teachers dress us in our tradition Thai attire. These dresses were gorgeous. Be that as it may, they weren't the most flattering article of clothing I have ever worn. 

Getting dressed. I am kind of just creepily standing there.

Event number 3: wait about two hours to get our hair and make up done. Yup, you heard me. Tang and Ake hired two guys to do our hair and makeup. They were quite the duo. They didn't speak much English. About the only thing I could understand was "Smokey eyeeeeeeeeee" and "Super staaaaaaar" and "Princess Dianaaaaaaaa" and something about questioning me if I even liked makeup. Guess I just give off that grungy, homeless, butch vibe. Oh and lots of laughter. Directed at us. Don't know why you cause such an uproar in hilarity, but hey, think of all the fairies that are being born because I can make two gay guys laugh for about an hour straight without saying anything. And, there's probably a rule somewhere that a gay laugh births two fairies instead of one. Haha line. Crossed. 

Finished product. And you said dreads couldn't look fancy....

Event number 4: Morning ceremony. Unfortunately I missed a great deal of the beginning part. They start with the Engagement. So instead of getting engaged months in advance like we do in the states, they get engaged the morning of their wedding. A good three hours was just Tang and Ake sitting while monks chanted (which was pretty cool) and lots of bowing and and such. Then they moved to a table where each person poured holy water in the bride and groom's hands. If you know me at all, you are probably feeling nervous for me right about now. Me, holding a glass conch, filled with holy water, pouring it in the hands of the bride and groom, in front of a hundred people. The good news is I surprised myself and escaped any embarrassing or humiliating maneuvers. Hooray for me!

Morning Ceremony. My advanced photography skills managed to get
Mom's spiky hair and the video guy. Ya.....we will say I was going for that. 

Eh, eh?? How many people get to wear traditional Thai dresses at a Thai  wedding?? Tell me!

Event number 5: I think this was the actual marriage ceremony. Not certain. But the basic idea was that Ake had to buy Tang from her parents. And this is where it became very clear to me that A) money is not an issue with these people and B) I need a daughter to marry a Thai guy. Ake gave them cases and cases of expensive looking jewelry. It doesn't stop there. There were a couple of stacks of wrapped up money. And each bill was 1000 baht! I can't even calculate how much baht that must have been. 1000 baht is equivalent to about 33 dollars. There was probably a couple hundred thousand baht, possibly more. These guys are rollin in the dough!

Marriage Ceremony

Giving of gifts

Event number 6: So after the marriage ceremony, everyone lines up and ties. one string on the groom's wrist and one on the bride's. I just thought you waited your turn, then once you got up there just tie the string on and leave. Oh no. I was wrong. While I am tying my string onto Ake's wrist, he says something to me. It was that awkward moment where I didn't really hear what he said so I just chuckled, waved my hand around a bit, and moved on. APPARENTLY, what Ake DID say was "Okay now make a wish for me" and my response was supposed to be something like "I wish happiness for you and Tang" or "I wish that you will be successful in your job" or "I wish that you will grow wings a fly across the world and discover uncharted land where unicorns reside as intelligent beings" would have been better than: "Make a wish for me" "Oh, ha ah ah ah ha ahhhhh..." and move on. But all is well because at the end of the line they give you a gift. I got a towel.

This next event was one of my favorites, number 7: Now that they are married Ake must "find" Tang. So Tang hid somewhere in the school and Ake searched for her. But he had to cross barriers to get to her. This is where I come in. You and a partner are supposed to hold a line (in our case, a yellow piece of yarn. Ya, we are high class) and once Ake comes to your barrier you much negotiate a price he must pay to get passed. I thought this was all just a ruse to involve the guests, but I was delighted to discover that me and my group scored 1300 baht! It ended up being about 7 bucks each! Thai people know how to throw a wedding...

Our winnings 

This concluded the 6 hours of rituals. We were able to have a break in the afternoon. I know what your thinking, there's more?! I will pretend that the "there's more?!" that just escaped your lips was in excitement, not dismay.

Event number 8: Hair and makeup. Again. Only this time we weren't as important. Guests kept meandering in as they pleased to get all gussied up. And instead of picking the girls that had been waiting for 4 hours, they chose the diva basking in her throne of over compensated narcissism. Yup, I derived that by just watching them do her makeup. So what, sue me! Unfortunately, thanks to Miss Diva Pants, we missed the first part of the reception. Which was our students holding Tang's train and throwing flowers. I lost sleep over that one. But not to fear, we got our hair did and our smokey eye on and joined the party. 

Oh Prae... :)

You can deduce a lot about a person who wears a Tinkerbell costume to a wedding

Love this kid

Good ol' Tang

And there you have it! After a long day of matrimony, we finally got to rest. (For a few hours that is, but that's whole other story entirely). If you would like to see more pictures of the wedding, refer to my facebook page. Please. And once again, I will keep you posted on my adventures! Until next time, Peace and Love :)