Fool on the Hill

Salutations! My apologies for being non existent for two weeks. I haven't had that lovely thing called the internet. So bear with me, I have a lot to cover! Our journey begins in Bangkok. Oh Bangkok. We spent three days there and it was our little American getaway. So you saw the midnight showing of Hunger Games? Well I saw Hunger Games, IN THAILAND! We also gave in to Titanic in 3D. I mean come on, you can't pass that up. People falling to their deaths in 3D. Among all the American activities, we were able to squeeze in a few Thai festivites. We visited some markets. Unfortunately, the van ride to the markets made me ill. The whole way I was plotting where I would spew. My only plan was to swallow it or just keep it in my mouth. It's a good thing I never vomited because my strategy was sub par. Once the nausea ceased it was actually an awesome day. First we visited a market that was on some train tracks. Once the train starts coming they pull everything in in a matter of seconds, wait for the train to pass, then back to business.

Here comes the train!

The market

Next stop was the floating market. That was really cool. There is this river and all these boats are there with things to buy. We walked around for a bit, but the coolest part was we went for a boat ride on the river. When it got dark you could see fireflies in the trees, FIREFLIES. You know the first part of Pirates of the Caribbean, the ride? When you are in the bayou? Ya, that was my life, right there. One of those moments where I new I was in Thailand.

Just a couple of kids

We spent Easter Sunday in Bangkok. And you wanna know how we celebrated the Resurrection of our Lord? Let me show ya....

Mexican food...we devoured those suckers. Well not in one night. Unfortunately the next morning we left for the airport on our way to Phuket. And I didn't want a perfectly good burrito to go to waste. So naturally I ate it. At the airport. Before going through security. Did I get judging looks? Yes. Did I look like an animal? Yes. Did I enjoy every bite? Better believe it. You know what, after four months of Thai food, you can't judge me for my actions. 

Okay so now we are at the airport. After a couple of hours of people watching (its amazing the kinds of people you see) we boarded our plane. Nothing exciting, just sitting in my seat next to a DB, when all of a sudden what appears to be a gas starts billowing into the plane. It was coming from the sides and top. I look back at Kaitlen, she looks at me and we for sure thought we would be knocked out from toxic gas. When we took off it got even worse, then dissipated. We stayed conscious and alive so can't complain!

Livin the good life

Our arrival to Phuket....or should I say paradise. Quite arguably the best week of my existence. You can't go wrong with warm ocean water, a beach, sunny weather, and relaxation. Well.....there was a tiny bump in the road. And by a tiny bump I mean a tsunami. The irony....before we left that's all we joked about. I guess you are wanting the details. Here they are. Twas a warm sunny day. The slight breeze flowing through my sand coated dreads. The view of ocean and old men in spedos. Smell of salt, spring rolls and cigarettes. Kaitlen and I decided to take a jaunt around the streets to do some shopping. Though something was a rye. It was the middle of the day, but all the shops were closing. The proprietors we hauling down their aluminum shields. You would think this should have raised a red flag in my brain, but of course my response was "Why the crap are they closing their stores. It's an inconvenience." Silly me....so instead of shopping we decided to head to our hostel for a moment. We tread up the stairs, chit chatting about nonsense when our front desk lady bursts through the door, denies entry, fear in her eyes, out of breath, but manages to say "Earthquake....8.9......GET OUT" Me and Kaitlen look at each other, speechless. The terror I was experiencing (now comical) was shattering. We had no idea what to do. When in doubt...RUN FOR THE HILLS! But first I sprinted to the beach to get Dianna and Angee. Those poor girls....I see Dianna lounging on the chair so I figured she had no idea. I panic, sprint, sweat, babble "there's gonna be an earthquake." Turns out they new, but unlike myself, they had the message calmly delivered to them. Apparently the earthquake was in Indonesia, the same place that caused an earthquake to hit our beach two years ago. Thank you leather skin man for being calm. My apologies to Dianna and Angee for freaking them out. They thought for sure Kaitlen was dead somewhere....sorry bout that. The evacuation siren started to go off. That's when you know it's the real deal.  We saw a man that was in the middle of getting a tattoo when we had to evacuate. That's some crazy sign telling him he wasn't supposed to get that tattoo. Poor guy....hope he gets a refund.

Panic in the streets!

But then we got our butts in gear and got to high ground. We literally scaled a mountain in 15 minutes flat. We hauled some serious A. What we weren't expecting was to turn the corner and there to be a beach mansion with people lounging in a pool. Turns out these group of people found a crow bar or something and busted the fence. No one was home so we just helped ourselves! I wish I could be there when those people got home..."What the crap happened to our fence?!" Any who...back to running for our lives. So we just chilled in this pool, (that I may or may not have peed in....desperate times call for desperate measures!) waiting for the tsunami to hit.   Turns out, the tsunami was about 2 meters. Anti climatic for sure. But we had to stay at this house until we got the word it was safe. So some random strangers made dinner for fifty plus people. Even in a tsunami we are spoiled. But we are safe and sound. I can now cross "survive a tsunami" off of my bucket list.

Lounging around, waiting for the tsunami

Once the tsunami was over, normal life ensued. Back to relaxation. Well....not quite. The next day was the Thai New Year. They call in Songkran which is this MASSIVE water festival. Basically you can't walk two feet without getting drenched. The streets are filled with people splashing, squirting, soaking.....water everywhere! It's utter mayhem. At one point a fire truck came onto the streets and sprayed us with their hose. For about two or three days I had forgotten what it felt like to be dry. The Thai people know how to throw a party! It got to a point where I really just wanted to be able to walk across the street in peace, but that wasn't gonna happen. Until I gave them my crazy eyes. Nobody wants to mess with a crazy person. And it wouldn't be a vacation if I didn't have some kind of ailment. The first day of Songkran, I got extremely dehydrated. I mean I have never been this dehydrated in my life. To give you an idea of how bad it was, at some point I passed out in the bathroom. I woke up on that nasty floor, not having any clue where I was. Then, to my surprise I found an elephant on the wall. That's right...an elephant. I looked for it the next day, but it wasn't there. Do you believe me when I say that was the most dehydrated I have ever been? It sucked because it was the first night of the water festival so my gang went out to the battle field, while I had to stay in the room and find my sanity. It's always something with me....

My last adventure in Phuket was our tour to the Phi Phi Islands. One word. GORGEOUS! We took a speed boat to all these different islands. I will let the pictures speak for themselves. 

Oh if you are wondering who the fellow is in the back, that is
our friend Neil, not a rapist. 

Boats

Khai Island

Monkey Beach

Twas a grand day at the Phi Phi Islands. Oh, did I mention that our tour guide was a lady man? He/she, we like to say Shim for short, was one of the most annoying human beings I have ever encountered. Words can't describe. Shim kept lap dancing and screaming and changing outfits....I was ready to backhand that lady boy. But all in all, I had the time of my life.

That wondrous vacation had to come to an end at some point. When we came back, we were literally depressed. How pathetic are we? We had a lot of laughs, a lot of terror, but mostly laughs. Hope you have enjoyed this post. If you couldn't tell I had ADD before, I am sure you know now. I apologize for the amounts of confusion you may have experienced while reading this. I should start putting a disclaimer at the top. Until next tiiiiiiiiiiiime......peace and love :)